The Epic quest of Pichu
by ThatGuy58
Summary: A random, epic, parody of Melee's adventure mode and various fanfics! Pichu goes on a strange quest to become more then a joke character... unaware of certain evil villians. Act:4 It's almost like it was written on crack! please excuse spelling mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

**Presenting a master parody of many things in this section…**

**One day long ago…**

**In a galaxy far far away (or close depending on how far your TV is)…**

**Nintendo decided they didn't want to be sued**

**So they stopped with the Star Wars crap…**

**Meanwhile in a totally unrelated place 1 ridiculed Smasher will become all he can be…**

**I WANNA BE THE SMASHER**

**(pichu edition)**

**Or**

**SMASH WARS**

**THE PICHU WA-**

**STOP WITH THE STAR WARS CRAP!**

**PICHU'S QUEST! (title not final)**

In Master Hand's secret underground lair, the evil hand was conversing with someone on the phone…

"LOOK I TOLD YOU I-SHUT UP YO-… FORGET YOU, YOU MOTHER F**KER!" The hand swore into the phone, breaking at least 50 laws of physics. He then noticed Pichu in the room.

"Master Hand," He said in a dreadfully cute voice, with a just as dangerously cute face, "who were you talking to?"

"My mother. Now GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU HORRIFICALLY CUTE LOSER!"

Pichu then decided to take action. DUH DUH DUH! "MASTER HAND SHUT UP!" Almost if on que every person in existence (Think of several people, real or not) stopped and looked wide eyed. Pichu was always the abused smasher, the black sheep if you will. This partnered by the fact that he was always the weakest, was a clone character, had only a few friends, and his voiced turned demonic and flames suddenly appeared in the background, and no one was daring enough (or dense enough) to challenge master hand was enough to make the hand back down.

"Pichu… are you oka-"

"NO YOU IDIOT! ALL MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN PUSHED AROUND, BEATEN UP OUTSIDE OF BATTLES, EVEN CUT FROM BRAWL EVEN THOUGH OTHER CLONE CHARACETERS HAVE GOTTEN IN! I AM THE SUPER SMASH BROS LUIGI… OR KENNY WHICHEVER ONE WORKS! BUT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! I WANT RESPECT! I WON'T STAND FOR BEING A LUIGI, KENNY, CLOUD N CANDY, BOB THE EVIL GOLDFISH, GOOMBA, OR WADDLE DEE ANYMORE!"

All throughout Pichu's speech a SSB flag was in the background. As soon as he was done, the mentioned characters clapped their hands and fireworks started up. Master hand, however, was laughing…

Meanwhile in a secret mansion somewhere

Various video game and cartoon villains were conversing randomly as that's what people do in random situations and meetings. Three figures entered the room. One of the figures then slammed a gavel on… Wario's head! Yeah perfect! Instant Comedy!

"QUIET!"(Man a lot of people are using capitals today.) All the villains turned to face… A ROB RECOLOR! "Now we can begin." Everyone nodded mostly in fear of the recolor's unholy powers. "Now we need a plan to kill the smashers and take over!"

Everyone nodded. "So… any ideas?"

Everyone had an anime fall moment.

Meanwhile

Pichu came back to Master Hand's room only to find him dead on the floor. He had soon decided that waiting for MH to stop laughing was going to take forever at this rate, so he went to do something meaningful with his life. It was only later that he realized that it would be worth it, seeing as he had no life. Then he cried realizing his existence was meaningless. But he realized everyone else's was too. After that he laughed at everyone and then he came here after breaking out of the asylum.

"Finally! I was waiting for you! Do you have ANY IDEA how boring death is?" Pichu almost had a heart attack as Master Hand rose up from the floor. "Anyway, take these weapons with you and DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE A BADGE FROM EVERY PLANET!"

"YES SIR!"

Pichu got everstone.

Pichu got sword

Pichu got $1,000,000 $ma$h (Sweet father of Bart Simpson!)

"… You do realize only one of these is an actual weapon right?"

"Do you want me to take it all back?"

"NO!"

"Good- OH and here is some entertainment!"

Pichu got a play-I MEAN… COLORING BOOK! YEAH! COLORING BOOK…featuring… some models…

"Uhh… Master Hand?

The huge hand did not want to be busted for inappropriate marterial so he simply sent the naïve pokemon out the door

_Level 1: Mushroom kingdom Adventure!_

Pichu crawled out the warp pipe he came in. Almost instantly the warp pipe was boarded up. "Okay!" Pichu said putting on a Mario cap. "LET'S-A-GO!"

One montage later

Pichu finally reached reached the halfway point the toad at the point was screaming so loud every window in the kingdom broke.

"AHHHH THE YOSHIS THAT WANT TO KILL A HORRIFICLY CUTE POKEMON ARE HERE!" The toad then ran off a cliff.

"Wait… what did he say about the Yoshis that want to kill the pokemon?"

On que a bunch of Yoshis started beating him up.

_Meanwhile at the world of trophies…_

Kirby was poking around Bowser's old castle. It was unknown why he was going near that god-forsaken castle but he was. Then he was bumped into the moat under the castle by… Ike! Yeah! Plot hole covered! Anyway Kirby was trapped! Pichu was out and Jigglypuff? Well…

In Smashville..

Jigglypuff had many supporters in its campaign against Chimera research. It's also unknown why she hated chimeras. But she did her best to stop it. She held elections, made buttons, even gave press conferences. Basically she did everything she could. Yet more and more chimeras appeared. One day she asked Zelda for help.

"Zelda, I need to find where the CHIMERAS are coming from."

"I think I can help you child…" The Hyrulian then unblocked a secret passage in the temple. "This should take you to the chimera labs."

"Are you sure this works?" Jigglypuff asked cautiously.

"Yes. Only 500 men got lost."

"Out of what?"

"…" Then Zelda pushed the puff ball down the stairs

Meanwhile with Pichu

Pichu finally made it to the castle found a detour.

"… What the hell is this? The amazing race?" He had to either make a dash through the castle or use the cannon to get up to the roof. It was no surprise that he choose the cannon.

On top of the castle Mario and Peach were planning to kill Pichu

"Okay peach we will attack him with these Poison mushrooms!"

"I'm PEACH!"

Mario was then jumped on (And had his neck broken by) …LUIGI! DUN DUN DUN!

"Time to kill, peach!"

"I drink toilet water!"

"… Okay…"

PICHU VS LUIGI AND PEACH

LUIGI HP: 20

Peach HP: 10

LUIGI used LUIGI MISSLE!

Luigi then charged and shot at Pichu. But Pichu being small meant that Luigi missed and self destructed.

PEACH used SELFDESTRUCT!

Peach blew up.

PICHU beat THE BOSS!

PICHU GAINED 50 XP

PICHU LEVELED UP.

Meanwhile with Kirby.

Kirby couldn't believe that hidden under Bowser's castle was a Mansion. He looked inside.

"OH MYGOD THE SUBSPACE ARMY IS BACK!" Kirby shouted and, of course no one heard him. Only the Primids rejoined the battalion. Otherwise only ROBs were in it. He was already having a panic attack when the intercom blared a command. He couldn't hear most of it but he caught the phrase "KILL PICHU!" That settled it! The SUBSPACE ARMY WAS BACK AND WANTED PICHU'S FLESH!

Meanwhile in an orbiting space station near Master Hands residence…

Most of the smashers who weren't with the villains or wondering where the others went were here in an EVIL space station near Final Destination. Then from out of the shadows Master Hand emerged with a sweet cape flowing behind him.

"Hello Smashers. We are all here to pursue our goal… TO KILL PICHU!"

The giant glove then laughed manically, with the others joining in too.  
It was ominous… at least until a meteor hit the space station sending everyone who couldn't float (Aka everyone except Master and Crazy) falling down to the planet. A voice through a megaphone was heard.

"Sorry, but I had to blow that pile of crap out of the sky. It was blocking the sun." The camera then zoomed in on the R.O.B. recolor. Then a name, ala Subspace Emissary, flashed revealing the name: M.O.B.

"Just you wait M.O.B. and Pichu! I, MASTER HAND WILL WIN AT THE END OF THE DAY! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"But BROTHER today IS over!" Crazy Hand gleefully said as his name flashed on screen. No not in that way.

"…" Master hand just flew away silently, leaving Crazy to whatever random thing he might do like… bake pie monsters on THE MASTER CHEF! Yeah! That sounds like something he would do!

**And thus ends the first Hell bound chapter. It seems like Pichu is about to get popular. Also… How did Master Hand get a space station, much less the R.O.B. recolor getting a mansion? Well… I got nothing. **

**NEXT TIME**

**Pichu Meets the Kongs and the Metroids! Kirby Teams up with the real R.O.B. to stop this new threat! Jigglypuff finds King Kong, the first of the chimeras, the secret of the ultimate question of the meaning of life, and Roy! Meanwhile, what tricks does Master Hand have up his… um… I still got nothing…**

**Random trivia: Did you know Some people call the original final destination, Master Hand's residence? Remember that… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	2. Act 2: 2 ACTS IN 1

**The Pichu emissary **

**Chapter 2, Kongs,Metroids, And Caves, oh my**

**We join main hero Pichu as he makes his way to the vast jungles of the Mushroom Kingdom. The creepy jungle with the flesh eating monkeys. Of doom.**

"Wow! This has to be the safest forest ever!" Pichu complimented the forest as it tried to kill him through quicksand, cows, cheese and worse. He finally came to a water fall where two monkeys were watching his every move.

"Dude! He matches the picture perfectly!" One of the monkeys said. The picture in question was drawn by Master Hand, albeit poorly. VERY poorly. In fact, you would think he had a seizure while drawing this. He also did it so badly, if anyone were to look at this picture, people would do a billion take.

"Dude!" YOU ARE SO RIGHT!" The other monkey said. Just because they were monkeys did not mean they were smart.

Meanwhile…

Kirby was going through M.O.B.'s secret factory. Thankfully Kirby had experience with factories. (Seriously, look at Kirby 64!) M.O.B., who was coming back with his blueberry pie, spotted the pink puffball!

"HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY PIE TIME! I'LL ANNIALATE YOU KIRBY!" The recolor shouted in rage.

BOSS

M.O.B. (First encounter)

HP:um…

M.O.B. summoned a TANK!

A tank rose under the evil robot.

KIRBY used: HAMMER!

Kirby tried to hit the tank with his hammer.

ATTACK INIFECTIVE!

…

M.O.B. used: BULLET BILL!

CUTSCENE

M.O.B. decided enough was enough.

"THAT'S IT! THIS RPG CRAP WILL GET US NOWHERE!"

"Yeah. Can't we take five?" Kirby asked, slightly disappointed that this was his first line in the chapter.

"No but you can take DIE!"

M.O.B. then shot a Bullet Bill at Kirby.

"0.0! OH-" but before Kirby could show his trailer talk, A BB hit him in the face sending the poor unconscious puffball into a train.

But THAT is another Chapter!

Back with Pichu…

Pichu was exploring the waterfall when he heard Cheesy Rap music and corny lyrics. That was his warning that Donkey Kong was near by. Then he saw the Monkeys.

"Wait… there are TWO DONKEY KONGS? I'M WAY MORE ANNOYED THEN WHEN I WAS ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!"

Earlier

Pichu was on the price is right and had to spin the slot. "Come on, Big Money! STOP!" to no ones surprise it landed on a wammy. The pokemon proceeded to swear for 12 years straight.

Now…

"WE ARE THE DK CREW! SURRENDER TO-" The monkeys never got to finish that sentence.

"YAY, I need a soda." The electric rat then said as soon as the Hammer wore out.

At Kongo jungle

" Pichu had almost reached Cranky Kong's bar until he saw a giant Donkey Kong at the other end. "YOU GOTTA BE F$*ING KIDDING ME!" Pichu swore angrily.

"HEY! Children could read this you know!" The giant King Kong rip off was saying. Giant DK then took one step… then fell into the river and died.

"…I'm not even going to comment on that."

STAGE 3: Underground Maze Adventure!

Jigglypuff saw that She/He was shoved down a hole into a maze. It looked around and saw that there were many tunnels. And Zombies, Walking squids, what-cha-ma-call-its, and bunnies.

"This is obviously a maze of EVIL!" Jiggly said as it ran down one of the passages. It then bumped into something. "0.0 ROY?" It asked shocked.

"Yeah… I got stuck in here after Zelda told me to get the Triforce back." Roy admitted.

"OHHH LET'S LOOK IN HERE!" Jigglypuff shouted opening the door. The duo found themselves looking at two Diddy Kongs that came out of nowhere at the Castle Siege stage. Both sides didn't take more then three steps when the Diddies were killed by the King Kong rip off. It roared ferociously… okay I lied, but it still looked menacing.

"I don't see how we are going to survive this time Jigglypuff…" Roy said sadly until… PLOT DEVICE! The Ape's mighty Roar caused the castle, as well as any structures near it to crumble. The heroes, bruised and hurt, but fine looked around. Then Jigglypuff said:

"..We were never here."

"Agreed." The swordsman and the pokemon then left quickly.

Two years later.

"Jigglypuff! I think I found a way out!" Roy exclaimed joyously

"Good because I'm sick of lugging around these master swords!" The puffball complained dumping the swords.

"HALT"

Both beings looked up to see… TWO FLOATING BLOBS…OF DARK MATTER! A SSE character intro appeared saying "ZERO" and "DARK MATTER" respectively.

"You can't get past unless you solve my… QUESTION!" The white blob, Zero, said.

Suddenly everything turned into a quiz show set. It was colorful until Zero realized and turned the set colors to black and pink ("Frankly some pink wearing women can be demonic sometime) and the music turned more sinister.

"JIGGLYPUFF! YOUR QUESTION IS… WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE!"

"Um… Forty two?"

Everything went quiet. Then Dark Matter and Zero left screaming "CURSE YOU JIGGLYPUFF AND YOUR HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY REFERENCES!" The duo just shrugged it off and went to the door. Jigglypuff went first and ran out screaming.

"Zelda…Link… were doing…something." It managed to say.

"Were they kissing?"

"… Well that's what they were also doing…"

Roy decided to go see for himself… and he got roasted for peeping on Zelda and Link during their "Private time".

Meanwhile

"GENTLEMEN! Welcome to my volcano island lair!" Master Hand announced except for the fact that most of the smashers ALREADY KNEW IT WAS A VOLCANO LAIR! Some times Master Hand can be an idiot.

"Uh.. Master Hand?" Marth asked nevously. "why is there a bed on our side of the table?

Master just chuckled. "So I could fire THIS AT YOU!" The glove then fired a ray at Marth. The prince was still for a moment…until he tackled Ike to the ground. Clothes could then be seen flying including 2 pairs of underwear.

"What did you do to them?" Asked a shocked Lucus.

"Changed Marth into a girl, and set his hormones to raging. NOW WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME?" The crazed hand shouted. When nobody answered he got back to the basics. "So how is Pichu Crazy?"

Crazy Hand replied "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"

Mewtwo translated: "Pichu did not arrive at Hyrule ("hehehehe") However he is on his way to Brinstar. ("WHAT?")"

Master Hand was not a happy camper. Or panda. "WHAT IS ZELDA AND LINK DOING?"

A video screen came on showing$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ everyone covered the eyes of the young ones or themselves.

"TURN IT OFF! MY EYES ARE BURNING-oh wait I don't have eyes-STILL YOU GET THE PICTURE!

**Act 2**

**A icy reception on Brinstar**

Kirby was coming to. He found himself at the end of a hallway. At the other end he saw 2 familiar figures.

"SNAKE! SONIC! THERE YOU ARE! I NEED HELP!"

At the end of the hall Sonic and Snake were talking.

"And so I said 'HEY JERK THIS SMOKE PIPE'S GOING UP YOUR-'" Snake stopped in mid sentence when he saw Kirby running down the hallway. "OH MY GOD IT'S A METAL GEAR!"

-Metal gear found sound-

Sonic shook his head. "Dude Kirby isn't a metal gear."

"What about his copy abilities?"

"… Pass me a gun." The two tried to shot at the marshmallow but either Kirby was extremely lucky or those two had horrible aim.

"Guys! M.O.B., A ROB RECOLOR, IS TRYING TO REINVENT THE SUBSPACE ARMY!"

"The subspace what?"

Flashback Time!

Taboo was floating over the smashers with his WINGS OH POWAH when his SEXY WINGS were cut off! The person was none other then Sonic! But instead of congratulating Sonic, the smashers just beat him up saying "WHERE THE *$% HAVE YOU BEEN FASTEST THING ALIVE!"

FLASHBACK OVER!

"So that blue guy was the leader of those creeps eh? Well I beat thousands of Demi-gods! I can handle a recolor!"

"And I'll go to make sure they don't go making any Metal gears"

Snake and Sonic joined your team!

Meanwhile with Jigglypuff

The Pokemon and the swordsman were on top of an airship which M.O.B. has captured. How they got past Zelda and Link no one knows. They were looking around them with great interest

"Everything looks cool!" Roy said.

"And by looking at everything we are totally not being snuck up on!" Jigglypuff also commented as a shadow snuck up on them…

…How about the Smashers eh?

Everyone was looking EXTREAMLY annoyed at Master Hand's secret bases. This time they transferred to a coffee chain on BRINSTAR!

"HEY! How was I supposed to know Mt Fuji was still active? Anyway don't get comfortable, I'm set to declare bankruptcy in 10 minutes. Stupid Brinstar." The hand was, however shocked to find Pichu asking for a cup of coffee. "W00T! FIRST PROFIT!"

Ten seconds later

"Wait… Wouldn't it make sense to poison Pichu?" Lucario questioned.

Master Hand looked blank and simply looked at him before screaming so loudly everyone's hair stood on end: "**CRAP!"** then ten minutes had passed.

"Cover the children's ears." The hand commanded before screaming a swear word so fowl that twelve censors died.

On the platform

"Huh where am I?" Pichu asked confused "Maybe I should stop drinking while flying…Nah." The pokemon then heard boots. "STAY BACK! I HAVE A SWORD I JUST REALIZED I HAD!"

"Silly Pichu!" A voice said. Then Samus walked up. "You can't even touch me!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a _girl_!

Pichu looked as if his mind had been blown. An orchestra even played shocking music.

"But… I thought you were a boy! Or a robot and you and the Master Chief were dating!"

**Meanwhile with the Coffee shop rejects…**

A grand siege was happening with the smashers. When Master Hand refused to leave his new lair so soon, The Galactic Federal Agents (The GFA) had to step in. So the smashers were trapped in the office.

Zelda, followed by an extremely p**ed off Link entered the room.

"Um… Everyone… before me and Link…. You know….. I found out I was pregnant."

This shocking piece of news was a supreme shock to everyone because Link had a policy called 'Touch her and die.' So as you can tell nobody so much as stood near Zelda for a couple decades.

"Don't worry Link." Said Falco for no reason other then because people might've forgotten him. "Zelda who do you think would get you pregnant?"

"Many people because I don't mind bestiality and I'm bisexual. In fact some smart alecs call me Mrs. Cartman!"

Everyone started weeping.

"Wait… What is a Bisexual?" Link asked.

**Time for an Instructional video.**

** appeared yelling at someone.**

"**I DON'T CARE IF YOU KNOW BRITNEY SPHEARS, PAY UP!" **

**He stopped yelling and looked at the camera. "Hello!" He said with a fake smile. "I'm Dr. Mario and I'm here to talk to you about Bisexuals." He then brought up a chart and explained that a Bisexual loves everything. He then dug up a memory eraser and erased the views mind of the first few seconds of the video. Some audience members said "All glory to the Hypnotoad!" but nothing really happened. Then text saying 'The government does not approve of this video.' Appeared.**

"Oh…" The smashers said.

Then everyone started weeping again.

"Seeing as everyone is feeling guilty, I confess that I killed the original Link and Zelda, took replacements from Twilight Princess, processed their corpses into coffee and did the same with Toon Link, except for the replacing part." Master Hand confessed. Everyone looked at him.

"What?"

One call to Rehab later

"Well Master Hand's sent to rehab… What should we do now?" PKM trainer asked.

"Maybe we should find out who got me pregnant?"

Everyone, once again started weeping.

"WHEN DID THIS FANFIC TURN INTO A BAD SOAP OPERA?" everyone asked simultaneously while weeping.

Back with Pichu…

Pichu clutched his stomach.

"OHHHH… The coffee isn't sitting right!" The pokemon spoke before crapping out old Zelda's corpse. Samus looked shocked then charged at the pokemon. However the poop covered corpse caused her to get 900% and die.

YOU GOT THE SCREW JUMP BADGE!

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE ACTUALLY TELL YOU THAT YOU GOT THE STINKING BADGE!

WHOOP-DE-****ING DOO!

Then a siren went off.

"Warning!" a voice said "This place is about to go boom! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO THE LIFE BOATS!"

Pichu looked blankly then sighed and went up the escape chute. Before he went in the pod he said "Now you must think that I'm cruel for leaving Samus's corpse, but if you saw what they do to me on a daily basis then you would do it too!"

He then stole the ship and flew to Dreamland as the planet exploded killing everything on its surface. If you listened closely you could hear somebody shout 'BAYSPLOSION!".

With Master Hand

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SMASHERS I WILL PROVE TO YOU I'M NOT CRAZY!" Master Hand screamed leaving Rehab. Then the corpses of everyone on Brinstar fell right around him. The giant glove was silent then went back inside, fell on a chair and screamed "HELP ME DOC! I'M CRAZY!" then he broke down.

**The second and third chapters. While Master Hand is in rehab the smashers will solve MYSTERIES! M.O.B. may be powerful now but is there someone who is waiting for the right moment TO STRIKE? Yes. Next Time: The Vehicular Saga: Trains,Planes and driving automobiles! Meanwhile can the Smashers get out of the soap opera that is their lives? So they can keep failing to kill Pichu?**

**To be continued**

**A little note for now: The next chapter will be the first where I focus a bit more on parodies because Dreamland isn't a truly long stage (You fight Kirby, A bunch of other Kirbies, if you finish quickly you fight a large Kirby.")**


	3. Act 4: Therapy and light swords

After a hiatus, I am finally rewriting Act 4 of this story! What happened to the original act 4 you may ask? After looking at it I realized that that chapter… was very off topic. I know I was going to be referencing stuff but…. While the subplots were fine, the main story was so… plot points that were thought of were soon dropped until what was left was… I may put up this "Lost Chapter" but this is the canon act 4 and the lost one while it may contain lots of similarities (I'm trying to keep most of the events) is more of a "what if"

Shorter/Alternate/excuse/what happened last time

Pichu was in space, Master Hand was in therapy, the Smashers were dead, I'm lazier then Mr. Ransoomair (I think that's how his name is spelled.)

Our story begins in Rehab where Master Hand was sitting in a chair. So far he had told 1/10th of his life story to the psychiatrist, who was close to shooting himself. Master Hand had told him his favorite food (DEATH), his favorite sport (KILLING), even his favorite color (Blood Red)!

"So that's how I'm, somehow, on and off dressing up like Pee Wee Herman. What's wrong with me doctor? Am I… dying?" the hand asked worriedly.

"Far from it… Mr. Hand." The physiatrist said. "So very far… we may need to reprogram you."

"Okay… wait, WHAT?"

Meanwhile…

In Dreamland

Pichu was walking through Dreamland after the Brinstar escape pod crah landed.

"This place has so many flowers, hearts, and cuteness. I've found the land of no emos, Ma!" He exclaimed until he saw a yellow Kirby. There are many names for this Kirby, but we'll call him Chimera number one (But since I'm lazy, let's just call him 1.)

"Hello, it's me, Kirby! You know the guy who is pink."

"Then why are you yellow?" Pichu inquired. The fake Kirby's smile melted into a face of shock. He then pulled out a walkie talkie and shouted: "WE'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!" Then Kirbies of varying design fell from the sky and started beating up Pichu.

Yes, that's my running gag.

Meanwhile several pokemon trainers were captured by Team Rocket. What were they looking for? Why Pichu of course! Yes, you read that, not PIKACHU, PICHU, as in the pre-evolution, the baby, the main character of the story you're reading. That certainly threw off all the trainers who knew they wanted Ash's Pikachu. It was two seconds later that a mysterious broadcast was sent to them by….M.O.B.

"Salutations Jessie, James, Meowth, and Rocket executives: Archer, Au… Ao… whoever the female executive is and Petrol… I_'_ve got some embarrassing news. You see… I looked at my monitors. Turns out Pichu is still in Dreamland! My mistake!" Jessie, of course, was so angry that even Chuck Norris became afraid of her (And that's really saying something).

"You mean, we waited for 12 hours, captured every trainer us and our bosses knew, and checked every Pichu we came across, ONLY TO FIND THAT THE ONE WE'RE LOOKING FOR IS NOT HERE YET? … James, just give me the Pokeballs." Jessie said, meaning the ones he was suppose to have taken from the trainers. The key word here is _suppose_.

"I told Petrol to take them!"

"And I told Proton to take them!"

"Wait" Archer said, "If Petrol told Proton to take the Brats pokemon… and Proton is not here…"

_To this day, nobody knows how they escaped._

Working Title! Pichu's Story!

Act 4: The chapter before the trilogy. (Several Acts before the finale)

Pichu killed the army of kirbies using a kitchen knife, a sword, a giant fish, and 599 U.S dollars. Pichu seemed pretty cool with it and was just about to leave for… wherever, when suddenly a giant Kirby fell from the sky!

"Where are all of you coming from?" The baby Pokemon demanded.

"Ha!" The giant Kirby scoffed, "As if I would tell you that we are chimeras, coming from the halberd and- Hey, where did you go?" Yes, while the Kirby was distracted, Pichu snuck onto the airship that was ominously floating overhead, only to discover that it was actually Dr. Eggman's Flying Battery and escaped to the halberd.

But before we come back to that…

In Cerulean Cave, two Pokemon were looking over their army of StormPikachus.

"Ha! I like to see those humans try and stop this! With my army of Storm-Pikachus I will abscond with a Pokeball containing an Arcreus, then clone that, and with an army of Arcreuses, I'll absorb their power and ascend to godly status!" Mewtwo plotted taking cues from Star Wars and Homestuck. Pikachu, whom was wearing a Storm trooper helmet, simply saluted to show he was still listening. He wondered how the other smashers were doing or if his master needed anything. And no he wasn't talking about Mewtwo.

Now, Mewtwo was usually very smart, and sane. Unfortunately he hit the ground a little too hard and fractured his skull. So, whilst bleeding and in a pile of dead smashers, Mewtwo clawed his way to the arena and got fixed up. Except for the fact that his brain, realizing that this story is completely illogical, searched for a way to beat it at it's own game. So Mewtwo's brain disappeared all together as it is the only way to combat the lunacy know as "Working Title." And that is why Mewtwo has this crazy plan.

In the intervening time on the Halberd…

Meta Knight's ship flew through the air like a giant sperm whale floats on water. Seeing as how, besides Mewtwo, Meta Knight was the only living smasher, it was his duty to get them back in one piece. Charting his progress, he decided to call the therapist to see how Master Hand was doing.

"Well first of all, he killed his anger management classmates…"

_Master Hand was in anger management class with Jason, Freddy, Jaws and a puppet. _

_Then the instructor, who looked suspiciously like Richard Simmons entered._

"_Okay class; please welcome our newest guest Mister Hand!"_

"_Hello Mister Hand."_

_Master Hand then proceeded to kill them all for calling him "Mister" Then he looked around the destroyed room._

"_Oh Taboo I am a monster!" Then he broke down crying._

"_Okay, that's step one." Richard Simmons look alike said before collapsing._

"Then he told me several strange stories about killing you people for fun and how he's been dressing up as Pee-Wee Herman and how he thinks this whole series of events is orchestrated by a strange boy. So I locked him in a dark room with educational children's programming."

"Isn't that a bit rough on him? I mean the guy may be a serial killer but that doesn't mean you can-" Meta Knight stopped and looked around, sensing that someone is nearby. Then, using enough speed to drop Sonic in mid run, he shot his sword at the roof. Not to his surprise, it connected with Pichu's body. Meat Knight quickly got his sword and pointed it at his intruder.

"What are you doing on my ship?" He asked with authority.

"I'm here to get the Dreamland badge you have!"

"Why don't you go and attack Dedede or ask Kirby to give it to you?"

"Because that wouldn't make sense!"

"Oh, _now_ you talk about logic! Did _anything_ you've done in this fanfiction make sense? Did anything _anyone_ does in this fanfiction make sense? This story defies all logic. In fact "the attack of Giygas" (even the original, mind you) makes more sense then this story!"

"MetaKnight!" Pichu and Meta Knight put aside their glances to take a look at this new development. Red was indicating toward his radio he had.

"Attention!" A voice boomed. "I am Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket! We are looking for a trophy from the world of trophies that looks like a Pichu (and yes a PICHU, not a PIKACHU!) If you don't comply then me, and my newly appointed second in command Archer, will blow up Saffron city and the Pokemon stadium, along with some of the greatest trainers in the world!"

Act 5: An Espeon, some Chimeras and a Wolf.

Silph Co. was a pretty big building. It was so high that on the roof you could see for miles. The top of this building was even a setting for the Super Smash bros tournament. But it wasn't very wide. And this was the reason why Silph asked trainers to let them borrow their Pokemon as the Great Fox was making an emergency landing.

One pokemon, an Espeon couldn't believe as he (they made sure it was a boy) was getting summoned from the PC he was in for the stupid task he was partaking right now.

"Well, at least things can't get any worse." He thought as he used Physic to push the renegade battleship. Then he did a double take as what looks like another airship was heading straight for Silph.

On the Great Fox, on the other hand, was even worse. While Pichu only had to fight Meta Knight, Roy was fighting both Fox and Falco, at the same time. Jigglypuff wasn't helping as not only was she signaling Peppy, Slippy and Krystal on where to attack them, but she also blue screened ROB 64, thus causing the battleship to fall towards Silph Co.

"We have to get out of here Roy!" Jigglypuff shouted.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?"

"Slow me down."

"You know what Jigglypuff? I think we can make it if we jump off the ship." Roy suggested in a hopeful manner

"Of course!" Jigglypuff agreed. "But just as soon as I get this guy off Slippy's tail with the firecracker launcher."

Roy did the smart thing and stopped her himself. And they landed perfectly fine on the roof. Unfortunately they spooked the Pokemon and the building was totaled. Which means the Halberd landed perfectly fine by some trees outside of Saffron City.

"So this is Saffron City." Meta Knight said impressed. "It looks like a nice place to live. Well except for that destroyed building."

"Yeah it is. But still we have to get to Pokemon Stadium! We need some transportation, because I don't think you're ship will be able to land there… and where's Pichu?"

Then the two noticed that the part of the destroyed building concealed an, also wreaked, Great Fox. Then they both thought the exact same thing and headed towards it.

Inside a few minutes later…

M.O.B. was walking into the Great Fox in a good mood. He skipped and jumped and scatted a sweet jingle or two. He was gay with pride basically.

"Ahhh, I now have the proper mean to take down Giovanni and Star Fox by force." The recolor boasted, "Now I will get to the stadium, capture Roy, make the ultimate swordsman Chimera, and then use his power to dethrone Master Hand!" M.O.B.'s boasting was cut short, sadly, by the fact that _there were no more Landmaster tanks left._

"But Star Fox has 4 tanks! Where did the other three go?"

Meanwhile on the road to Pokemon Stadium…

Pichu looked in his rearview mirror to see if his assumption was correct. Sadly, it was true: he was in a car chase with 3 other Landmasters.

"Son of a B**CH!"

Back with Master Hand…

The therapist was hiding under his desk with fear. As it turns out, the reprogramming was based on pro wrestling and murder stories, which pretty much made Master Hand into a psychotic enraged mass murderer. After telling his wife and kids that he loves them, the therapist spent the rest of the day hiding. Then he slowly got up and asked the receptionist if the psycho was gone.

"Yes sir, he flew through the wall screaming "LOOK OUT PICHU, CAUSE I'M GONNA KILL YA!" And abducted a small cartoon-ish boy in an elf costume."

The therapist simply said "I've got a phone call to make." and left.

Meta Knight then put the phone down calmly and made sure the Landmaster was at top speed.

Now for the climax of this chapter!

Pokemon stadium was where many top trainer meet to battle each or gym leaders in special pokemon battles. Today, on the other hand, it could all tumble as Team Rocket plans to blow it up. And that's terrible. With the trainers disabled, the gym leaders held hostage and all pokemon with the exception of Team Rockets removed from the area, things were very bleak. Until one of the Landmasters smashed through a wall Kool-aid man style. Out of the landmaster crept non other then dainty Pichu.

"Pikachu! Attack this nuisance!" "Yes sir!"

Everyone looked at the other side of the stadium to see the arrival of Mewtwo and Darth Pikachu. Giovanni was at a total lost for words. Because seeing a creature you created for the sole purpose of world domination will do that to you. Pikachu got a laser sword and faced Pichu. Pichu, catching on, ran to look for a laser sword too. While he was looking, the second land Master arrived. Out of it popped up… Fox and Falco?

"Okay, what's going on here?" Falco asked Giovanni and Mewtwo.

"Pichu and Pikachu are going to have a fight to the death." Mewtwo answered.

"Yeah, what he said." Giovanni added. "Quite frankly, I don't have the foggiest idea what is going on." Pichu then entered the arena with a light sword. Both electric Pokemon stared each other down.

"You know Pichu," Fox started, "We aren't allowed to kill you yet. We could help you."

"Thanks Fox, but keep your stink'in help. I have to do this on my own."

After some more staring, the two pokemon started slashing one another with their light swords, creating sparks. Said sparks flew as the two Pokemon moved through the stands. It was at this time that fake Pikachus started spawning into existence. The Pikachus each had blasters and proceeded to shoot at the electric rats. Somehow, not only did they fail to hit Pichu and Darth Pikachu (and Pichu stopped to pick up a lucky penny and help Darth Pikachu, who was choking on the water his helmet feed him), but to get the point across; they missed the Landmaster. They missed the big screen in the background. They missed_ the sky. _

"Mewtwo," Fox asked "Why do your minions suck at shooting? They were graduates of the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy for crying out loud!"

"I may know a lot of things Fox, but I will never know that."

It was at this point that the third Land Master arrived and its occupants, Red and Meta Knight, were running toward Mewtwo at full speed.

"Mewtwo!" Red exclaimed. "Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove?"

The reply was "I am trying to prove that I am the strongest Pokemon in the world. And soon, I will be the strongest Pokemon in existence! Now then, less chit-chat, more fighting!" and with that, the cat Pokemon tackled Red and knocked him out. In response, Charizard, Squrtle, and Ivysaur came out of their Pokeballs and attacked Mewtwo. Meta Knight, on the other hand, was picking up and releasing the Pokemon inside the Pokeballs to stop the Pikachus. Darth Pikachu and Pichu then stopped.

"HAHA it is useless to fight Pichu, for I am Pikachu, supreme second on the rung of evil! HA! HO! HA!" Pikachu said in a bad Japanese animated way, during which the lip-synch is off.

"I will never surrender, for I strive to be a smasher and smashers never give up in the face of evil." Pichu said in a just as bad way.

"Enough bickering! Let's fight!"

And so the two Pikachu family Pokemon then flew into space and continued their light saber duel on a squrtle (at Poke floats). At this point, even I'm lost.

Back at Pokemon Stadium, the fourth and final Landmaster arrived at the scene. Inside the culprits were none other then Jigglypuff and Roy.

"Okay, whoever you are, this game is over!" Roared the red swordsman. Meanwhile, the Storm-Pikachu's were battling Giovanni's Persian. And they were losing. Badly.

Charizard used FLAMETHROWER.

It's not very effective…

Mewtwo used METRONOME

…

Mewtwo used WATER GUN

It's super effective!

Charizard fainted.

The Storm-Pikachus kept coming and it looked like Jigglypuff was getting swarmed before a psybeam shot them all off. And there in the fur, was Espeon, ready for action.

"I've decided that I should help you and you're friend Pichu, so I climbed in his tank when noone was looking and hid until now."

"Thanks Espeon, Now let's stop this massive army from taking over the universe!"

So the two, real, pokemon attacked the infinite, fake, Pokemon who were taking a coffee break.

In space…

Fox and Falco watched the light saber battle from SPACE. Fox looked edgy in particular.

"Falco, we can't just watch as this happens! We've got to help Pichu defeat Pikachu!"

"Alright, alright, if you quit moaning about it, we'll help Pichu-"

"Can't let you do that Star Fox!" Mocked a mysterious, sexy, voice. Fox and Falco looked with annoyance as Wolf O'donnel flew his Wolfen towards them.

"Wolf. It's ALWAYS Wolf. Alright, what's wrong now Wolf? You got tired of looking at yourself in a mirror so you came to show off?" Falco said in an annoyed voice. The rival of Fox just chuckled in his menacing, sexy voice.

"No, pheasant, that's not why I'm here. Master Hand paid me a pretty penny for that baby rat. And I'm taking him, dead or alive."

"What makes you think you'll get him Wolf?"

"Because, cub, he's got to come to me. After all, I have an incentive!" At those words, Wolf showed that, on the hood of his Wolfen, was a badge with the Star Fox symbol, thus he is Pichu's next opponent.

"Now then, how about we spar. You know, for old time's sake!"

At Poke Floats…

Pichu and Darth have been flashing laser swords for the last few paragraphs now and Darth shows no signs of slowing down.

"Face it Darth" Pichu said boldly as the swords flashed, "You may have stamina, but I have skill on my side!"

The millisecond he finishes saying this, he gets knocked to the floor with a scar on his eye. Pikachu stood over him with the light sword inches from Pichu's face. Pichu, needless to say, was scared stiff.

"Pichu, join me and together, we could rule this world (The trophy universe) as brothers in arms!"

"I'll never join Mewtwo!"

"I wasn't talking about Mewtwo. When my master takes over, all melee characters, clones or otherwise, will trophified forever! But he will make an exception to you if you join me."

"Darth… it's not just about me trying to prove that I'm still useful. It's about me trying to prove that melee characters, although clone characters, are still useful. Hell, I'm standing up for the melee characters, the clone characters, and the joke characters! Because we have feelings too! We are neglected, jokes, losers! But, at least today, we are winners!" The smash bros flag, once again, waved behind Pichu as he made this speech and fireworks started when he finished his speech.

At the Pokemon Stadium, Mewtwo heard this and gave his whole day an analysis. He eventually decided that the only way to beat the story… was to go along with the ride and stay sane. This allowed him to stop fighting Red's Pokemon.

"In hindsight," He muttered, "This plan was completely insane and stupid and I feel ashamed for trying it." But at that moment, Jigglypuff used sing.

Back at Poke Floats, Pikachu was swaying drowsily to the side slowly. Mewtwo and Pikachu's senses were linked, thus what Mewtwo hears, Pikachu hears. Thus Jigglypuff's song reached Pikachu and made him sleepy. Pichu, seizing his chance, jumped and landed on Fox's Arwing… which was in the middle of a dog fight with a Wolfen.

"Well, looks like I'm screwed." Were Pichu's last thoughts before the Arwing was shot down. Except that a Slowbro just happened to be floating by and the yellow Pokemon managed to safely land on it. As for Fox… according to 4Kids, he managed to get out just in time.

"We've got to get back to Pokemon Stadium!" said Fox AKA The guy who points out obvious things.

Pichu just shook his head. "Don't worry Fox. All we need to do is to use instant plot hole." The baby Pokemon then proceeded to pull out a yellow spray can with the words "OMG INSTANT PLOT HOLE!1!#?%1^!&?*1!1" in red. He then sprayed it all over…

Down on Pokemon stadium…

A hole appeared out of nowhere that Pichu and Fox jumped out of. The duo saw that Red and Mewtwo were calmly discussing what happened to the other smashers. Meta Knight and Espeon were helping Jigglypuff clean up the rest of the Pikachus. All in all, things were looking up, until…

"STOP!"

Everyone looked to see the R.O.B. recolor race into the stadium. Mewtwo, having seen him at the conference tried to stop him. Alas it was no use, because he is a recolor.

"I can't believe you people took the rest of the Landmasters! I lose a small pink puffball only to get out-grand theft tanked by a mouse, a boy, a gay swordsman (yes you are), another pink puffball, a gray/ blue puffball a cat… thing, and a Fox and a Bird!" M.O.B. complained. Pichu, Jigglypuff, Espeon, Roy and Red looked in confusion at M.O.B. Mewtwo and Meta Knight looked in anger. Fox looked in caution.

"Who are you?" Pichu asked in a bewildered voice.

"I am M.O.B.: Leader of the neo subspace army, created as a back-up plan for Taboo. I plan on creating Chimeras to amass an army of unstoppable creatures to destroy the trophy universe." Mewtwo then got a confused look along with Pichu, Roy and Espeon. Red and Jigglypuff, on the other hand, got angry, remembering The Subspace Emissary.

"And now I shall capture Roy and mix his (Censored) with Marth and Ike's (Moar Censored) to create the ultimate chimera!"

"You're insane!" Roy shouted. M.O.B. didn't answer, but used mind crush on him. M.O.B. then opened a portal to his base. "So long guys, and see you in Coneria, Pichu!" And with this chilling message, M.O.B. left… but not before opening a video feed and shooting them the bird. "I hope you can see this because I am doing this as hard as I can."

Meanwhile out side of Saffron and Pokemon Stadium, Giovanni finally met up with Archer, who had been waiting for quite a while. After getting Proton from the gloom that used Sleeping Powder on him, Archer sent the others to HQ. Now he was waiting for Giovanni to give him the signal.

"My word sir!" He exclaimed when the boss finally showed up. "What happened?"

"I Don't want to talk about it Archer." Giovanni said. "Did Ariea place the electrodes accordingly?"

"Yes Sir. Just give the command and they'll self destruct."

Giovanni looked at the Stadium, where a robot was teasing the heroes. When the robot camouflage colored robot left with the red swordsman, Giovanni said only one word:

"Self-destruct."

Mewtwo managed to see him leaving and thus, knew he had a trick up his sleeve. Mewtwo then opened a portal to Coneria.

"Go!" He shouted before teleporting with Meta Knight and Red to free the smashers and find Master Hand. The Pokemon jumped into the portal and they landed in the futuristic home of Team Star Fox.

"Well it looks like I'm going to get the Star Fox badge." Pichu said in a flat voice. Then he looked at the sky and saw Fox's Arwing, meaning he escaped. That wasn't what caught his eye though. Instead he saw Kirby, Snake and Sonic falling from the sky.

"Snake? What happened?" Jigglypuff asked in a concerned voice.

"It's a long story. Listen, we need planes or battleships or something because we have a big problem.

As if those were the magic words, a giant R.O.B. appeared out of nowhere. Then it proceeded to _bomb the loving crap out of Coneria_.


End file.
